Selfish Book

Reporter: David Eccleston

Last year 47,000 couples in Australia got divorced, with more females than men deciding it was time to start again. Now comes a controversial new book that promises to salvage your relationship and help you live happily ever after and it's all about being selfish!

"Get selfish! Learn how to get selfish and learn about yourself otherwise you'll never truly be happy" says Matt. "Get selfish get happy and what it means for us to truly find happiness we really have to find happiness we really have to focus on our natural selfishness- it's in us all- we are all naturally selfish" says Helen.

With almost half of all marriages ending up 'out for the count', kick boxer- counsellor - life coach and author Helen Owen is convinced she has the game plan for your life. "Once we understand ourselves, once we understand who we truly are we can look at the things we like about ourselves and the things we don't like about ourselves." 'Get Selfish Get Happy' is all about looking after number one.

"In the book I'm giving you permission to be selfish so focussing on what's really going to make you happy in a relationship when you have two people really focussing on themselves and identifying what makes them work and then coming together to relate that's how you're going to have a happy relationship." "I did think life was pretty good, in terms of relationships it was the one missing link in my life" said Matt.

Matt Hobans is used to helping others achieve their goals but he would fall short in his own life - it was time to stop being a 'yes' man and learn to say 'no'. "By getting selfish I actually learnt who I was as a person I actually discovered things about myself and what makes me happy and what I'm actually looking for in a relationship."

Cue in the romantic music, today by being 'selfish' Matt has found happiness with partner Vanessa. "Its being completely honest about how you're feeling of course you sugar coat it to a degree but it's about being honest and true to yourself and therefore a better partner" says Vanessa. "I think it's not just a bout reading the book it's actually taking on the key principles it's about knowing your self and knowing what you want that's what the books about it's knowing what you want and doing what you need to do to have what you want" say Brett and Seline Sherrin who are both believers too.

118,000 Australian couples tied the knot last year. Helen Owen's priorities for them...?




"Really get in touch with my true selfish nature and then focus on the genuine things that are going to make you happy in your life. And the second thing is take responsibility for your own happiness, don't look at your partner to make you happy because that's only going to be a temporary situation and the third thing would be to share these concepts with your partner you both have to be working with the same mindset to create a happy mindset" advises Helen.

"I don't think its a good idea. I mean that just doesn't make any sense to me." Says Psychologist and author of 'How To Snap Out Of It', Toby Green. She says selfish behaviour is the reason relationships fail.

"Maybe a lot of selfish people will buy the book and will give them a justification see here's an expert who says what I'm doing is just fine but in the real world may not in the real world it's give and take as boring as that sounds that seems to be how relationships work" adds Toby. "Selfishness is not about hurting or putting down your partner because that doesn't bring reward to us no one wants to hurt or harm the person that they love so your true selfish nature is to be kind and compassionate and loving to your partner because that brings personal reward" says Helen. Learn how to get selfish, it will definitely improve your life" adds Matt.

Helen Owen's book called 'Get Selfish Get Happy' is available from all good book stores and is published by A & A Book Publishing.

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